The Delusion of Writing

The Deluded Ones: A Satire

Confusion: The art of feigning ignorance whilst making boorish statements about the social, physical or moral aptitude of writers.

True, it is not the most stable career, and many of us are quite bogged down in our megalomaniacal belief that one day someone will see the brilliance in our writing… but I argue that we are not the deluded ones.

No! That accolade goes to those who claim that all writers are tracksuit goblins sprawled out on our threadbare recliners shoving monster munch and fried mars bars down our throats whilst clapping out romance novels in the dark of night.

I will not rob you of the scientific research that proves we are more prone to a DSM-5 diagnoses. Nor will I dispute our more serious crimes, such as procrastination. We will not deny using a thesaurus or spending four hours down a proverbial rabbit hole on the origins of Middle English for a one-line reference in our novel. And shamefully, I will not even dispute our café addiction, where we go to take up space, annoy fellow patrons, and write vigorously despite the untenable noise, crowded spaces or the fact that we have internet at home.

I can assure you, many of us do not own recliners, enjoy long walks after meals, are revolted by turkey dinosaurs, and abhor solitude. Some of us do not even own a cat.

What I came here to proclaim is that we writers are glamorous too!

From our series of Writers are Glamorous too.